Sorry this is so long! I’m gunna break it into 2 parts to give you all a break! I just wanted to explain my feelings on being a little.
So the other day, I was replying to a twitter post from Sabaw. I mentioned being more of a kidfur than a babyfur when it came to what I identified as and my regression age. They then mentioned how they couldn’t tell I had a little side. It honestly kind of hit me hard as well as make me think. “I guess I don’t really talk about being little now do I?” So I thought, well then, I should talk about it some!
My involvement with ageplay is weird. Ever since I was a little kid, I’d always surround myself with baby paraphernalia. Things like diapers for plushies, baby and toddler sets for Barbie, those old plastic bottle toys. I played with my plushies and these items a bunch but I more so just enjoyed playing with the items and toys by themselves.
As I grew up, I still always had this weird attraction to baby stuff. I always wanted to buy pacis and bottles but never understood why. It wasn’t until I joined the furry fandom and met some friends that I realized I might be a babyfur. I used to talk to Taymonkey and Moose all the time, and eventually, we discussed diapers. I never thought that adults could like diapers and baby stuff. Seeing them enjoy it so much made me want to try it myself. There was no way I could buy them, so I did lots of art instead.
I would keep this stuff hush hush and go as far as saying I wasn’t a babyfur, but I just thought it was cute. As the years went on though, I opened up more to the idea of it. At this point I was receiving a fair amount of babyfur and diaperfur commissions, so I felt comfortable enough to admit I liked it. Though I was open about enjoying the idea of being a babyfur, I was still rather shy about it. I lived with my parents and didn’t think the people I was friends with at the time would understand.
Fast forward a few years and there I was, being handed some diapers from a friend at a con. I had stuck them in my suitcase and managed to hide them in my closet so no one would know. Not to long after, my parents were out of town and my sis and I had our furry friends over for the weekend. I decided to ask a friend if she’d be willing to assist me while I tried on my first diaper. I was really shy and she was a great friend, going as far as to try one on with me. I really enjoyed it and felt the need to explore the feeling more.
Sadly I wouldn’t do much other than draw the rare personal piece for myself as well as wear a diaper here and there. Still too afraid to explore much more. But it was around this time that I started making friends with others in the furry, ABDL community. People like Charry, Gree, Diaperflamingo, and tons more. The more I talked to people online, the more I realized some of these feelings I’d been having all my life were signs of feeling little.
I really wanted to explore this idea more, but sadly, the person I was dating at the time was really not into it. I tried convincing them I didn’t have to involve them or that it could be something cute. Eventually they caved in and allowed me to draw some caregiver/little art of our sonas together. I was beginning to hope this meant I could start exploring my little side more. But as quick as my hopes rose, they were crushed. A few days after confiding in my partner, their at the time group made a tweet about me being a babyfur. The group was followed by nearly everyone I knew in our local area. A few people teased me and some even unfollowed and blocked me. Not to mention the next time we all hung out, they made a point to make fun of me.
I was devastated. I was still very much insecure when it came to being a little and I didn’t want people to know about it just yet. Honestly that tweet and our failing relationship/friendship lead me to bottle up a lot of my interests, not just when it came to being a little.
To be continued!
Categorised in: Uncategorized