Trigger warning: Vague description of cartoon violence and comical mention of barfing.
While trying to sleep the other night, it hit me that it’s been a while since I’ve had any nightmares. Life has been pretty good all things considering and less stress has lead to more peaceful dreams. But one thing it did make me think of was my old, reoccurring nightmare.
See, I used to have this nightmare all the time as a kid. Here’s how it went:
It started out with me as the mayor of a fictional town. The town itself was ran and inhabited by all my favorite cartoon characters. Everyone was friendly and happy in the perfect world envisioned by 6-7 year old me. But things didn’t stay peaceful for long.
Not too far into the dream, the sky would begin to turn black. Suddenly, comically toony UFOs began appearing in the sky. Just as quickly as they appeared, they started beaming down their owners. The aliens were basically the same as the ones from the Goosebump’s episode/book, “Attack of the Jack-O’-Lanterns”. And let me tell you guys, those things use to creep me OUT!
The moment they touched the ground they began disintegrating everyone around them. It was so gorey and horrific when seen from the mind of a child. As mayor, I ordered everyone to head for shelter. Quickly, those who were left ran to a comically, massive amphitheater on the top of a giant hill.
There, I asked my citizens if they had any idea of what to do. Hunter from Road Rovers was first to speak up, advising we get all the super heroes together to try and fight them. Next was Spike from Extreme Dinosaurs, who propose we run to give us more time to plan. Goliath from Gargoyles agreed. The next part though, this is where it got wild.
Pooh, yes Winnie the Pooh, told us that maybe they were friends! That maybe if we offered them some honey and friendship, they’d stop attacking. Now, though this was very much in character for Pooh, Doug (from Doug), did not think this was amusing. He began to yell at Pooh, calling him stupid (best I could manage as an insult as a child), and tackled him to the ground. A struggle broke out, Doug and Pooh Bear were trashing around on the floor.
Suddenly, Doug was back on top. He took both of his hands and literally started strangling Pooh. I have no idea why the other toons in the room did nothing but stare. We all just watched as Doug strangled the actual stuffing out of Pooh. I still wonder why this always happened in my nightmare. I was always a friendly and loveable kid, but here I was, dreaming of Pooh’s death. This coming from a kid with a themed Winnie the Pooh room at the time!
I continued having this nightmare for over a year, that was until one night around Halloween. I was at my mom’s house, attempting to sleep though the nightmare. It happened like it always did, until it got to the fight with Pooh and Doug. For some reason it was super violent and scary, I still have no idea how young me came up with this all. But then suddenly, I awoke with a snap. And just like the girl from the exorcist, I violently vomited like a firehose. Turns out I had a deadly high temperature.
I ended up spending the rest of the night in a warm bath drinking Capri Suns. It was wild, but I was thankful to be rid of that nightmare. I guess in a sense, that barf that left my body must have taken my nightmare with it. Because after that night, I never had it again. I am however thankful for the hilarious mental image of Doug saying “You stupid bear” before WWE style, body slamming Pooh to the ground.Categorised in: Uncategorized