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Why I have so many accounts

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So, I get asked, ALL THE TIME, “Why do you have so many accounts?” First of all, please don’t ask or say things like “I can’t keep track of them all!” I love you guys but it’s honestly not that hard. But for reals, I hate it far more than you do. You think it’s hard to hit the follow button 4 times on twitter? Imagine having to organize 4 accounts across 10 websites. The passwords, the names, did I already post this picture or did I not? It’s freaking MADDENING and I don’t think anyone will understand. Heck I pay a friend to upload for me because otherwise I would never post all the art I draw. Even then I struggle to post most of it. I don’t mean to come off as rude when I say that, but I really do hate it a ton and hearing people rip on me for it really hurts my feelings.

I’m just different from a lot of people. Insert “I’m built different” meme here haha. But honestly, I just like SO MANY THINGS. You might be saying “But Klotz, I like a lot of things too!” I really don’t think you all understand. I like hundreds of things. Shows, games, kinks, themes, all of it. Most people I know only have a kink or two, maybe four or five. I legit cannot count all the kinks I have. Aside from a few of the “gross out” ones and things like human feet and tentacles, I like most things. Diapers, vore, inflatables, plushies, monsters, gore, I could list them all day.Same with cartoons or shows. I like almost every show I watch. When I was a kid, I watched all the channels and all the shows. Cartoon Network, Nick, PBS, Discovery, Animal Planet. All. The. Shows. All while playing pretend or outside with friends.

Don’t even get me started on themes. It’s the worst. I always wanted to be that person with a general “theme” about me, but I can never choose one. Deserts, 90s, 50s, liminal spaces, circuses, Pokemon, DIgimon, etc. I hate it because I always sit here with decision paralysis. I legit can never decide on something to draw for myself because how do I pick one thing when I like them all? How do I pick a single character when I want to draw them all? I even struggle when it comes to what I want to do in art. One day I will be super pumped to only draw traditional art, but then the next day I just want to improve on digital backgrounds. I can’t choose if I want to be a SFW artist or a NSFW one. Even when I choose one rout, ten new doors open. If I pick SFW, I can’t decide if I want to design adopts, make merch, draw fanart. I pretty much never do personal art because of this. I’m always unhappy because I just can’t express myself or find anything that I’m passionate about enough to feel happy with. It also creates a rift between my commissioners and myself because I can never just offer one type of commission consistently. Like right now I really just want to make badges but no one will buy one from me because I have no examples. But by time I make examples, I’m burned out and want to move on to a new thing.

Because of this, I’m rarely craving the same thing. One week I’m all about that babyfur life, the next all I want to do is draw pool toys. I get, upset’s not the word for it, but I don’t enjoy myself when I’m stuck only doing one thing at a time. It sucks because most people out there in the art and furry community have a very small interest pool. So when I have one account focusing on everything I like, I either get a ton of people only following me for one thing and they leave me when I stray from that one thing. OR they hyper focus on one thing and put me in a place where that’s the only thing I can draw/talk about. So much so that I end up burned out on said thing. This is why I dislike drawing TF and messy diaper stuff now. I wasn’t really into them to begin with, but once I did it the one time, it’s all people wanted from me. Imagine not wanting to draw that thing but it’s legitimately the only thing over 200 people want to commission from you for the past 5 years. It’s like loving food but only being able to eat mac or hotdogs for the rest of your life, with one unique meal every month or so.

I’m forever stuck being unsatisfied. I feel like I have nowhere to go or no friends that understand me minus my sister and my boyfriend. I love them both but sometimes you just want a group of peers or friends you can just jive with. But for me, I usually end up chatting with someone, but all they care about is their thing and they never want to talk to me about anything but their one kink or their one show. It sucks. It’s also hard on me because I do want to be popular. I want to know what it’s like to have a supportive fanbase. Not for the butt paps but just because it’s nice to build a community you know? But due to the fact that I’m not hyper focused on one thing all the time, I can never reach a large audience. They only want one thing from me but I struggle to be interested in that one thing constantly.

So this is why I have so many accounts. If I didn’t, I couldn’t draw art for a living and I wouldn’t have any followers. Yes I know I have friends and fans who do love and support me, and I ADORE them <3 But there’s nothing wrong with wishing you could have more. I love my fanbase, but when there’s only 10 of you who genuinely adore all the content I create, it becomes a bit too safe and familiar. Sometimes you want to make new friends that click with you or in my case, you want enough support financially so you can live comfortably. I want to be one of those artists with a patreon filled with people who just want to support my art instead if having to open 20 reward slots and take tons of commissions.

Please do understand this is why I struggle keeping everything all in once place. I’ve tried it before many a time and it never works. But many one day I will find that group. I’m working towards it now so wish me luck!

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